My oldest son, John, is currently 4 1/2 years old and has some serious gems that I've been writing down since he started talking a few years ago. My middle son, James, is 2 and just finding his stride with his speech but he will be showing up in these posts soon enough. He's got some solid comedy chops himself.
Anyhow, here is the first installment. This actually happened this week on vacation so it's fresh on my mind. I don't know where he comes up with this stuff.
Me: OK, John. That's enough Doritos. You need to eat dinner soon.
John: But you are still eating them. That's not fair.
Me: When you are older and become a Daddy like me, you can have as many as you want.
John: When I grow up and I'm a Grandpa and live by myself, I'm gonna have no rules! Then I'll eat all the Doritos I want.
This was all I could picture in my head after he said that: